Few ADULT and Tampoon Jokes

Vampires and Tempoon :

One day a vampire goes to a bar and asks for a pint of blood but doesn’t get any and walks out…
A couple of minutes later he returns and asks for a cup of hot water… The bartender, confused, asks him why he needs hot water…?
Vampire: I found a used tampoon and wanted to make tea…

When you are on HIGH SEX ...

A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man. She then heard her husband coming… she told her lover to stay like a robot and not to move.
Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have sex with when you are travelling…
Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I got my period, so I will go and make a cup of coffee for you…
After she left the husband said: Damn I am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he tried f*cking. The man started talking in a metallic robotic way…
“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE… SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”
Husband: Damn robot is not working properly…I am throwing it out of the window…The man realized that he was on the 20th floor and said…
“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY AGAIN…”

Question and Answer :

Girl: What is the opposite of laughing?
Boy: F-cking.
Girl: What?
Boy: Yes!…..because when you are laughing you say “Ha ha ha ha” and when ur f-cking you say “Ah ah ah ah”.

 

Family Story :  

A couple was having sex besides their three years old sleeping son. After a while they climaxed with huge orgasms. They were moaning and gasping. Suddenly the son, who was sitting and looking at them anxiously by then, asked, father mother are you exhausted?