Funny Jokes never fails ....

1.Mother's Dinner : 

A mother invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear mommy say,” the woman answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

2. Old Tales : 

What do you call someone who you like but is too old for you?
Out dated!

3. Wife's Tale :

“I told my wife I would shoot any man who had flirted with her at the seaside.”
“What did she say?”
“She told me to bring a machine-gun.”

4.Call Girl :

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”
“Wrong number,” replied the girl.
 

 

5. Couple's  Tale : 

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

 

6.Question and Answer :

Why did the turtle cross the street?
To get to the SHELL station.

7. Saying : 

The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
 

7.Question and Answer

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get his wife shelly.
 

 

8. Sexy Wife's Tale :

Give a sentence which gives the husband happiness and sorrow simultaneously?
While making love you are the best than any of your friends.
 

9. Guy in the Air :

A plane full of crazy people is in the air. One guy goes in to the cockpit and asks the pilot to teach him how to fly. The pilot says if you can get everyone back there quite I will teach you. A few minutes later the guy comes back and said they are quite now. The pilot asked how did you get them quite, the guy says, I just told them all to go play outside.

 

10. Athletes Tale : 

Two athletes arrived at their sleeping quarters, before competing in the Olympic Games. As they exchanged greetings with each other etc, one of the athletes asked the other, “So … are you a pole vaulter?” to which came the reply, “No! I am a German … and how do you know my name is Valter?” (spelled Walter, but pronounced Valter, in this instance).
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NB: This attempt at jocularity is in no way designed as an attempt to draw inappropriate attention to, or ridicule the manner in which certain elements of language are delivered, by those good people whose native language is not English, but a language originating from one of the European countries such as Deutschland or the Netherlands etc. It should be also noted that despite the unfathomable complexity of the English language, many people from countries such as Deutschland, still manage to master English and speak the language fluently. We can all laugh a little at each other’s quirks of language, provided it is done in the spirit of love and joy.

  11: Wife's untold Secrets:

I was sitting listening to my wife singing to my baby over the baby monitor it was just me, her and the baby in the house.
Then a car pulls in the drive way. It was my wife. Scary.