Itna Bada
Girl : Arey itna bada munh mein kaise lungi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geele ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gol Gappe tum he kahoo.
Girl & Tea
Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho,
Tez ho,
Meethi ho,
Doodh jyada ho,
5 minute mein taiyyar ho aur
Raat bhar sone na de.
Saas Bahu
Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard ke saath sokar aayi.
Lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?
Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!
No Aids
Na hum aids se darte hain,
Na hi condum se karte hain,
Hum to duniya se darte hain,
Is liye haath se keraty hain.
Average
Son saw a parents having sex "dad whats up?
DAD: Tere maa me petrol bhar raha hoon.
Son: Mom ki average check karien, din me uncle bhi tank full kar ke gaye hain"
Romantic Husband
Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusenge?
Watching Adult Movies
Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult movies?
Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It's ur ears to make sure k KOI AA TO NAHI RAHA HAI.
TV Ads
For toothpaste ad they show teeth.
For hair oil they show hair.
For face cream they show face.
But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago
Taqdeer
Kashti toofan se nikal sakti hai,
Taqdeer kisi bhi waqt bhi badal sakti hai,
Hausla rakh, channel na badal,
SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt Jhuk sakti hai.
Heroine Ki Shaadi
Ek baar heroine ki shaadi producer se hoti hai.
Pehli raat ko producer heroine ho kehta hai ki pehle rehersal kar lete hain.
Heroine bolti hai rehersal maine director k saath kar li hai aap final take lo.
Nice Chest
Ek baar ek sardaar apni balcony mein khada hota hai apni shirt utar kar.
Dusra sardaar bola "u hv a nice chest"
Pehla sardar bola "eh teh kuch v nahi meri biwi ki dekh"
Scientifically Proven Research
It is scientifically proven that k bachpan mein gand maraane wale log seedhe hath mein mobile pakarte hain.
Don't change ur now its too late.
Saari Utari
Pehle usne utari saari.
Fir aayi peticoat ki baari.
Phir diya blouse utar.
Zyada khush mat ho yaar.
Wo thi kapde sukhane ki taar.
Billi Ke Bachche
Teacher: Bachchon kya bata sakte ho ki billi (cat) k itne sare bachche kyon hote hain?
Student: Miss aap bhi bahar nangi ghumaien to aap ke bhi itne sare bachche honge.
Darpok Biwi
Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Achcha wo kaise?
Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub me bhi security guard ke sath baithi thi.
Gili Pitch
Santa sex karte hue wife se bola aaj pitch gili hai jaldi out ho jaunga.
Wife boli apko to out hone ka bahana chaiye kal isi pitch pe Banta ne shatak lagaya tha.
Santa's First Night
Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar!
Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur
jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
Mere Bachche?
Husband & wife talak ke baad.
Husband: Bachche mere hain.
Lady: Wah ji wah! Bartan mera, dudh mera, thoda sa khatta kya dal diya pura dahi tera!
New Bra
Wife boght a new transparent Bra,
Wor It in front of husbnd.
Husbnd: Isme Tum Badi Sexy Lag Rahi Ho,
Wife: Hmm..Pata Hai! Salesman B yahi keh rah tha.
BOYS aur GIRLS Ek bus mein BOYS aur GIRLS antakshari khel rahe the
GIRLS ne kaha "hum tumhe haraa k dikhayenge"...
BOYS bole.... "hum haar gaye ab dikhao"
3 women in Gym
3 women in Gym
A man runs Naked covering his face, looking between his LEGS
I women: He is not my husband
II woman: He is definitely not ur husband
III woman: He is not even a member of the GYM!
Aaj pitch gili hai
Sanata sex karte hue wife se bola aaj pitch gili hai jaldi out ho jaunga.
Wife boli apko to out hone ka bahana chaiye kal isi pitch pe Banta ne shatak lagaya tha
Moov cream and dick
Similarity between moov cream and dick,
Andar tak jaye,
Garmahat laye,
Aaram dilaye,
Aaahhh se,
Aaahhhhhhh tak!
Bra mein Haath
Wife: Peechay betha hua shakhs meri bra main haath daal raha hai.
Santa: oye chup kar! us ko kia pata ke purse mere paas hai.
Bihari Babu
Bihari Babu: Arre O Doctarwa,Kaisa Nasbandi Kiye Ho Hamaar?
Biwi Phir Se Maa Ban ne Wali Ha!
Doc: Hum Nasbandi Tohar Kiya Hoon Pura Gaon ka Nahi!
Aadmi aur Bandar
Q: What is the similarity between Aadmi & Bandar?
A: Bandar DAL par uchalta hai,
Aur Aadmi DAL kar uchalta hai!
Bipasha got tired of sex
Q: What did Bipasha Basu say when she got tired of sex?
A: JOHN-AB-RAHAM kar
Suhag Raat
Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar!
Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur
jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
Burning Love
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night u reach out 4 da Vaseline gel & pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake.
Meaning of Mangalsutra
Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.
Ghar ki bahu
Ghar ki bahu paraye mard ke saath so rahi thi saas ko pata chala lekin kuch nahi boli.
Malum hai kui?
Guess
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kuiki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi..
Puttar Hua
Nurse gave newborn baby 2 sardar he screamd "puttar hua! puttar hua!"
Nurse shouted, "abe gadhe ladki hui hai, meri ungli chod"
Who r u ??? A foreigner asks a Hinjra in Delhi are U PROSTITUTE??
HINJRA: No I m SUBSTITUTE
Girl goes 2 Dr with mom
Girl goes 2 Dr with mom
Girl-Medical checkup krana hai
Dr-sare kapde utar k parde k piche let jao... Girl-mera nahi mummy ka!
Dr oh!...mataji Jeeb bahar nikaaliye.
A little girl asked a Call Girl
A little girl asked a Call Girl: Aunty you have bungalow, cars, cash balance..
What is ur business!
Call Girl: Bas ek Chota sa "Hole Sale" ka business hai.
Complete the sentence
_____LAND_____ BHAARI CHOOT
*
*
*
*
*
*
tumhari soch gandi hai.
Ans: BSNL LANDLINE PAR BHAARI CHOOT
Transparent Bra Transparent Bra
Wife boght a new transparent Bra,
Wor It in front of husbnd.
Husbnd: Isme Tum Badi Sexy Lag Rahi Ho,
Wife: Hmm..Pata Hai! Salesman B yahi keh rah tha
Shukar hai ki ...
Shukar hai ki aapke hath aasmaan tak nahi pahunch paate...
Varna sitare kya chij hai aap to pariyo ki gand mein bhi ungali dal aate.
Girls returning from movie
Two girls returning from movie
1st: mere rupaye chori ho gaye!
2nd: tu to blouse mein rakhti thi phir kaise?
1st: muje kya pata saala chori kar raha hai.
SEX ME DONO KO MAZA AATA
BOY..SEX ME DONO KO MAZA AATA HAI...FIR LADKE SE HI PAISE Q
CALL GIRL... BEWKUF, CHARGE OUTGOING PAR HI LAGTA HAI.. INCOMONG PAR NAHI.
DIFFERENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE
DIFFERENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE:
AGE 20 - DIN RAAT,
AGE 28 - ROZ RAAT,
AGE 38 - JUMME RAAT,
AGE 48 - CHAND RAAT,
AGE 58 - ONLY JAZBAAT,
AGE 68 - GALAT BAAT...
Ladka pasand aaya kya
Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.
Ehasaaaaaaaan Kureshiiiiiiiiii
Ehasaaaaaaaan Kureshiiiiiiiiii ki latest kavita :
Roz college aati hooooooooooo
Dupatte se kya chupati hooooooooooo
Hum kya mar gaye hai janammmmmmmmmmmmm
jo kitabon se dabati hoooooooooooo
Saddest part of Sholay
What is the saddest part of hindi film sholay????
Ek to thakur ki biwi hi nahi thi upar se gabbar ne uske hath bhi kaat diye....
Prostitute on KBC hot seat
On KBC, a prostitute was on the hot seat.
Amitabh: Madam aapko hamare show me sabse acchhi cheez kya lagti hai?
Prostitute gets EXCITED, lifts her skirt and says,
"FASTEST FINGER FIRST"
Kya kaam karte ho Kya kaam karte ho
Q. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Ans. Ji samaj seva karta Hoon.
Matlab!
Gire huve ko uthata hoon, Bichade huve ko Milata hoon
Kaise?
Bra banata hoon.
Suhag raat ke baad
Suhag raat ke baad husband ne apni wife se pucha ki kal rat ko kya mahsus kiya to wife ne kaha 5% sharam, 5% dard aur 90% purani yadey...
Girl : Arey itna bada munh mein kaise lungi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geele ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gol Gappe tum he kahoo.
Girl & Tea
Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho,
Tez ho,
Meethi ho,
Doodh jyada ho,
5 minute mein taiyyar ho aur
Raat bhar sone na de.
Saas Bahu
Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard ke saath sokar aayi.
Lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?
Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!
No Aids
Na hum aids se darte hain,
Na hi condum se karte hain,
Hum to duniya se darte hain,
Is liye haath se keraty hain.
Average
Son saw a parents having sex "dad whats up?
DAD: Tere maa me petrol bhar raha hoon.
Son: Mom ki average check karien, din me uncle bhi tank full kar ke gaye hain"
Romantic Husband
Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusenge?
Watching Adult Movies
Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult movies?
Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It's ur ears to make sure k KOI AA TO NAHI RAHA HAI.
TV Ads
For toothpaste ad they show teeth.
For hair oil they show hair.
For face cream they show face.
But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago
Taqdeer
Kashti toofan se nikal sakti hai,
Taqdeer kisi bhi waqt bhi badal sakti hai,
Hausla rakh, channel na badal,
SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt Jhuk sakti hai.
Heroine Ki Shaadi
Ek baar heroine ki shaadi producer se hoti hai.
Pehli raat ko producer heroine ho kehta hai ki pehle rehersal kar lete hain.
Heroine bolti hai rehersal maine director k saath kar li hai aap final take lo.
Nice Chest
Ek baar ek sardaar apni balcony mein khada hota hai apni shirt utar kar.
Dusra sardaar bola "u hv a nice chest"
Pehla sardar bola "eh teh kuch v nahi meri biwi ki dekh"
Scientifically Proven Research
It is scientifically proven that k bachpan mein gand maraane wale log seedhe hath mein mobile pakarte hain.
Don't change ur now its too late.
Saari Utari
Pehle usne utari saari.
Fir aayi peticoat ki baari.
Phir diya blouse utar.
Zyada khush mat ho yaar.
Wo thi kapde sukhane ki taar.
Billi Ke Bachche
Teacher: Bachchon kya bata sakte ho ki billi (cat) k itne sare bachche kyon hote hain?
Student: Miss aap bhi bahar nangi ghumaien to aap ke bhi itne sare bachche honge.
Darpok Biwi
Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Achcha wo kaise?
Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub me bhi security guard ke sath baithi thi.
Gili Pitch
Santa sex karte hue wife se bola aaj pitch gili hai jaldi out ho jaunga.
Wife boli apko to out hone ka bahana chaiye kal isi pitch pe Banta ne shatak lagaya tha.
Santa's First Night
Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar!
Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur
jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
Mere Bachche?
Husband & wife talak ke baad.
Husband: Bachche mere hain.
Lady: Wah ji wah! Bartan mera, dudh mera, thoda sa khatta kya dal diya pura dahi tera!
New Bra
Wife boght a new transparent Bra,
Wor It in front of husbnd.
Husbnd: Isme Tum Badi Sexy Lag Rahi Ho,
Wife: Hmm..Pata Hai! Salesman B yahi keh rah tha.
BOYS aur GIRLS Ek bus mein BOYS aur GIRLS antakshari khel rahe the
GIRLS ne kaha "hum tumhe haraa k dikhayenge"...
BOYS bole.... "hum haar gaye ab dikhao"
3 women in Gym
3 women in Gym
A man runs Naked covering his face, looking between his LEGS
I women: He is not my husband
II woman: He is definitely not ur husband
III woman: He is not even a member of the GYM!
Aaj pitch gili hai
Sanata sex karte hue wife se bola aaj pitch gili hai jaldi out ho jaunga.
Wife boli apko to out hone ka bahana chaiye kal isi pitch pe Banta ne shatak lagaya tha
Moov cream and dick
Similarity between moov cream and dick,
Andar tak jaye,
Garmahat laye,
Aaram dilaye,
Aaahhh se,
Aaahhhhhhh tak!
Bra mein Haath
Wife: Peechay betha hua shakhs meri bra main haath daal raha hai.
Santa: oye chup kar! us ko kia pata ke purse mere paas hai.
Bihari Babu
Bihari Babu: Arre O Doctarwa,Kaisa Nasbandi Kiye Ho Hamaar?
Biwi Phir Se Maa Ban ne Wali Ha!
Doc: Hum Nasbandi Tohar Kiya Hoon Pura Gaon ka Nahi!
Aadmi aur Bandar
Q: What is the similarity between Aadmi & Bandar?
A: Bandar DAL par uchalta hai,
Aur Aadmi DAL kar uchalta hai!
Bipasha got tired of sex
Q: What did Bipasha Basu say when she got tired of sex?
A: JOHN-AB-RAHAM kar
Suhag Raat
Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar!
Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur
jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
Burning Love
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night u reach out 4 da Vaseline gel & pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake.
Meaning of Mangalsutra
Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.
Ghar ki bahu
Ghar ki bahu paraye mard ke saath so rahi thi saas ko pata chala lekin kuch nahi boli.
Malum hai kui?
Guess
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kuiki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi..
Puttar Hua
Nurse gave newborn baby 2 sardar he screamd "puttar hua! puttar hua!"
Nurse shouted, "abe gadhe ladki hui hai, meri ungli chod"
Who r u ??? A foreigner asks a Hinjra in Delhi are U PROSTITUTE??
HINJRA: No I m SUBSTITUTE
Girl goes 2 Dr with mom
Girl goes 2 Dr with mom
Girl-Medical checkup krana hai
Dr-sare kapde utar k parde k piche let jao... Girl-mera nahi mummy ka!
Dr oh!...mataji Jeeb bahar nikaaliye.
A little girl asked a Call Girl
A little girl asked a Call Girl: Aunty you have bungalow, cars, cash balance..
What is ur business!
Call Girl: Bas ek Chota sa "Hole Sale" ka business hai.
Complete the sentence
_____LAND_____ BHAARI CHOOT
*
*
*
*
*
*
tumhari soch gandi hai.
Ans: BSNL LANDLINE PAR BHAARI CHOOT
Transparent Bra Transparent Bra
Wife boght a new transparent Bra,
Wor It in front of husbnd.
Husbnd: Isme Tum Badi Sexy Lag Rahi Ho,
Wife: Hmm..Pata Hai! Salesman B yahi keh rah tha
Shukar hai ki ...
Shukar hai ki aapke hath aasmaan tak nahi pahunch paate...
Varna sitare kya chij hai aap to pariyo ki gand mein bhi ungali dal aate.
Girls returning from movie
Two girls returning from movie
1st: mere rupaye chori ho gaye!
2nd: tu to blouse mein rakhti thi phir kaise?
1st: muje kya pata saala chori kar raha hai.
SEX ME DONO KO MAZA AATA
BOY..SEX ME DONO KO MAZA AATA HAI...FIR LADKE SE HI PAISE Q
CALL GIRL... BEWKUF, CHARGE OUTGOING PAR HI LAGTA HAI.. INCOMONG PAR NAHI.
DIFFERENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE
DIFFERENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE:
AGE 20 - DIN RAAT,
AGE 28 - ROZ RAAT,
AGE 38 - JUMME RAAT,
AGE 48 - CHAND RAAT,
AGE 58 - ONLY JAZBAAT,
AGE 68 - GALAT BAAT...
Ladka pasand aaya kya
Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.
Ehasaaaaaaaan Kureshiiiiiiiiii
Ehasaaaaaaaan Kureshiiiiiiiiii ki latest kavita :
Roz college aati hooooooooooo
Dupatte se kya chupati hooooooooooo
Hum kya mar gaye hai janammmmmmmmmmmmm
jo kitabon se dabati hoooooooooooo
Saddest part of Sholay
What is the saddest part of hindi film sholay????
Ek to thakur ki biwi hi nahi thi upar se gabbar ne uske hath bhi kaat diye....
Prostitute on KBC hot seat
On KBC, a prostitute was on the hot seat.
Amitabh: Madam aapko hamare show me sabse acchhi cheez kya lagti hai?
Prostitute gets EXCITED, lifts her skirt and says,
"FASTEST FINGER FIRST"
Kya kaam karte ho Kya kaam karte ho
Q. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Ans. Ji samaj seva karta Hoon.
Matlab!
Gire huve ko uthata hoon, Bichade huve ko Milata hoon
Kaise?
Bra banata hoon.
Suhag raat ke baad
Suhag raat ke baad husband ne apni wife se pucha ki kal rat ko kya mahsus kiya to wife ne kaha 5% sharam, 5% dard aur 90% purani yadey...
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